


Why Not Me

by wononetoo



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Their both clueless
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-07 00:47:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13423158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wononetoo/pseuds/wononetoo
Summary: Richie gets a new boyfriend and Eddie doesn't know why it bothers him so much.





	1. Chapter 1

It had always been a deep fear for Eddie that as he and the rest of the Losers went through life that they would slowly grow apart, especially during high school where each of the members began to branch off and interact with other groups within the school. Despite Eddie’s fear the Losers club remained as close as ever, always making time to get together. They would all meet up at least once a week, if not more then that.

When mike got a girlfriend, the first of the group to do so, Eddie was sure that he would be spending less time with everyone and Eddie would hate the girl for coming between his friends. but Mike didn’t spend any less time with them then he had before, and the times he would bring his girlfriend with him, she got along really well with everyone and even Eddie had to admit that she and Mike were perfect for each other.

The next Loser to enter the dating game was Stan, which kind of surprised everyone. Stan was fairly quiet and didn’t really seem to talk to too many other people at school, but one weekend, in an almost passing comment, Stan mentioned that he had been seeing someone for close to half a year. This revelation was followed by a barrage of questions, mostly from Richie and Bev who wanted to know everything about the relationship and demanded to meet them as soon as possible.

After almost a whole night of convincing, Stan finally agreed to introduce them the following weekend. And again, Eddie couldn’t help but think that the two were absolutely perfect together.

The biggest dating surprise came in their last year of high school when Richie approached the group and announced that he now had a boyfriend. everyone was silent as Richie stood, waiting for some kind of reaction. After about ten seconds of silence, five voices broke out all at once, all saying different variants of ‘congratulations’ or ‘why didn’t you tell me’. The happy clamoring rang around Eddie as he sat there quietly staring up at Richie in disbelief.

What the fuck?

This wasn’t how Eddie had felt after finding out about the others. He felt like someone had just punched him in the stomach. He felt confused. He felt…angry? How could Richie not have told him he was interested in guys. He was supposed to be one of his best friends. Had Richie not felt comfortable enough with him not to tell him, and why did the thought of that sit so uneasily with him.

Lost in thought, Eddie didn’t realize that everyone had stopped looking at Richie and had turned to face him, including Richie who watched him with a nervous expression on his face.

Eddie, not wanting to think about what his thoughts could mean, much less discuss them with everyone else, turned the corners of his mouth up into the realist fake smile he could muster. He stood from where he had been sitting and walked over to where the group had gathered around Richie with his head down. all faces still turned to him and the concerned look that Richie was sporting had spread to some of the other as well.

Once he stood just outside the circle, he raised his head and pulled the fake smile again.

“So what’s he like?” He asked, watching as the nervous look on Richie’s face dropped away to one of relief. As soon as Eddie had spoken it was like a wave washed over everyone and the excited talking picked up again. A few worried glances were still shot his way but Eddie ignored them and simply nodded along to the conversation, paying as little attention to what was actually being said as he could without drawing attention to himself. 

The only part that he really tuned in for was when Ben suggested that they all go out to eat and then to a movie that Friday as a way to get everyone acquainted. Mike and Stan agreed while Richie hesitated for a few seconds. He met eyes with Eddie who gave him another one of the unconvincing smiles and then turned to look away. Richie shrugged after a few more seconds and also agreed.

It had been awhile since Eddie had dreaded hanging out with the Losers. He wasn’t sure if he really had ever before now. But eventually Friday rolled around and Eddie found himself avoiding Richie during the day. He had given it some serious thought and had determined that the reason he was so angry about Richie seeing someone was because his fear was finally going to come true, it hadn’t with Mike or Stan, but it definitely would with Richie.

All the Losers were weirdly close, but something about the two of them had always been different. Ever since they were younger, it was like they were contently being pulled together. Always choosing each other or sharing things late at night when Richie would sneak into Eddie’s room, something that they had also been doing since they were young. He doubted Richie new boyfriend would be okay with the amount of time they spent together, or even worse, what if Richie would rather be with his boyfriend then Eddie. Either way, he didn’t think things were going to go back to how they were before.

Eddie went home after school that day and seriously considered calling Bill and telling him that he was sick and couldn’t make the movie. But that would just be drawing things out and he was eventually going to have to meet his best friend’s boyfriend, as much as he didn’t want to. He tried to do some homework before leaving but couldn’t really concentrate enough to actually get anything done.

Richie had texted and offered to pick him up but Eddie refused and instead walked to the restaurant they had decided on earlier that week. He saw the fairly large group through the window as he headed towards the door.

Everyone was there minus Bill, Mike and his girlfriend, and himself. His eyes were immediately drawn to Richie’s laughing figure. He, Bev and the smaller guy between them were all laughing at something Stan was saying. Eddie’s eyes reluctantly moved from Richie to the person beside him. He was smaller with light brown hair and was currently leaning into Richie side as he smiled across the table at Stan.

Eddie hated him already.

He slowed down his walk to try and delay actually getting to the table as long as possible, a tactic that worked until he heard someone calling his name from across the parking lot and turned to see Bill running up to him. Bill pulled him by the arm into the restaurant faster then he had wanted to go and as soon as they reached the table greetings were being called out and introduction made.

Eddie automatically began walking around the table to where Richie was sitting but stopped when he noticed that there wasn’t an empty seat like there normally was. Riche was sitting at the end of the table with Daniel, as Eddie now knew he was named, sat beside him. Eddie quickly dropped into the closest empty seat to him which just so happened to be on the complete opposite end of the table from Richie.

Bill sat beside him and Eddie absently stacked creamers in front of him as the rest of the group talked loudly and waited for Mike and Lauren to show up. once they did, Eddie demeanor didn’t really change. He kept to himself throughout the whole meal, only inputting to the conversation when asked something specifically.

An hour into dinner, Eddie had spaced out poking at his food. His head jerked a little when he felt a hand on his arm. Richie was standing over him.

“I’m going for a smoke, come with me.”

Before Eddie could put up any kind of argument he was being pulled out of his seat and dragged towards the exit. Richie didn’t let go of his arm until they were outside, where he dropped it and reached into his jacket pocket.

“So?” Richie asked as he pulled a carton out.

“What?” Eddie replied and toed at the ground distractingly. He leaned back against the side of the restaurant and crossed his arms.  

“What do you think of Dan.” Richie clarified, sitting down on the low windowsill beside where Eddie was leaning and lighting the end of a cigarette with the lighter he always carried around.

“He’s fine.” Eddie muttered.

“Bullshit. You haven’t said a single word to him all night. You haven’t even really said anything to me either.” Richie nudged Eddie with his elbow. “You doing okay?”

“I’m fine.” Eddie snapped. “And sorry I don’t feel like yelling across the table just to talk to you.” Eddie pushed off of the wall and spun around to face the door with his arms still crossed.

When Eddie didn’t hear any movement behind him, he quickly looked over his shoulder. Richie was staring up at him, his cigarette seemingly forgotten as it hung between his fingers. He gave Eddie a confused looked before Eddie turned back around.

“So, you want to sit next to me?” Richie asked as he stood from the windowsill. “Because if it’ll make you feel better I can pull a chair up at the end of the table for you.”

Eddie snapped his head around and look at Richie disgruntled. As if he couldn’t even go two hours without being near Richie. How fucking clingy would that make him look.

“I said I’m fine. Hurry up, It’s cold out here.” Eddie turned away from him. He couldn’t even look at Richie right now without getting mad and he wasn’t exactly sure why that was, and that was frustrating him even more and he really just wanted this night to be over already.

He flinched and spun around when he felt something touch his arm. Richie stood there with his jacket in his hand, he looked surprised by Eddie reaction.

“Here, if you’re cold.” Richie held the jacket out closer towards Eddie. Eddie took a step backwards and started walking towards the door.

“Eddie.” Richie called after him as he walked away.

“Give your jacket to your boyfriend.” Eddie mumbled as he angrily pushed the door to the restaurant open and hurried back to the table. Bill and Mike looked over at him as he sat down in his chair a little harder than necessary. He knew he might be over-reacting but every single thing Richie was doing was pissing him off, even the nice gestures, and he had no idea why.

Richie rejoined the table about five minutes after Eddie. He stopped for a half a second behind Eddie seat as he passed by, Eddie refused to look at him. the moment didn’t last long anyway as Richie quickly started walking again and slouched back into his spot.

The movie was just about as bad as the dinner.

After they had gotten their tickets (Richie had bought Dan’s and Eddie wanted to throw up right in front of the ticket booth.) and stopped at the concession stand, they headed into the theater. They had chosen a movie that had already been out for a while so that the ten of them were sure to get seats all beside each other.

Richie had gone in first and had sat in the seat second in from the aisle, with Daniel sitting on his left and his jacket thrown over the aisle seat. Eddie had purposefully lagged behind with Ben. As they came up to the row of seats, Richie eagerly moved his jacket, smiling up at Eddie.

If dinner had been any indication, Eddie really didn’t think he could go through a whole movie sitting beside Richie knowing that he had his arm wrapped around someone el… wait, that wasn’t why Eddie didn’t want to sit there was it?

No that was ridiculous. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t want to sit there he just knew he didn’t. He turned his head as he approached and followed close behind Ben as they made their way down the aisle. He didn’t see Richie’s face but he imagined he was shocked. Eddie could count the number of times he and Richie had not sat together at a movie on one hand. And for all of those times, there was only a single person between them.

Ben stopped when he made it to the end and turned to sit down. He looked surprised when he saw that Eddie hadn’t sat in the empty seat beside Richie. Eddie squeezed passed him and sat down.

“Um, Eddie?” Ben asked. He and Stan were both looking at him puzzled.

“What?” Eddie asked, faking ignorance even though he knew exactly what they were both thinking.

“Ah, nothing.” Ben gave him a small smile and offered him some of his popcorn. Eddie took some and chewed on it aggressively, pointedly not looking towards the other end of theatre seats. He could feel eye’s on him but kept his face towards the large screen.


	2. Chapter 2

Ben turned out to be pretty fun to sit beside. The two shared comments and snacks throughout the movie. As the end credits began to scroll, Eddie was pointedly the last to stand and head for the door.

His slow pace eventually rejoined him with the group, which had gathered just outside of the building. A conversation was already taking place deciding if they were going to go anywhere to hang out. Eddie felt his shoulders sag at the thought of having to sit through even more time with the new couple.

It seemed that a majority of the group was down to go hang out at Bev’s for a bit. A thin light of hope came when Daniel spoke up.

“Sorry guys, I’ve got to get home actually. But it was really nice meeting you all.” He announced from where he stood beside Richie.

Eddie wanted to actually jump for joy. He knew he was being an asshole, but the night would just get so much better if he wasn’t there and Richie and him could go back to how they normally were. Besides Daniel needed to leave. Every Friday Richie would sleepover at Eddie, whether his mother knew about it or not. it would seem kinda weird if Richie left his boyfriend to go over to Eddie’s to sleep.

That hope came crashing down when Richie threw his arm around Danial’s shoulder and smiled down at him.

“I’ll drive you home.”

Eddie looked across the small circle of people completely taken back. Did Richie forget what day it was? As the other began saying their goodbyes, Eddie just kept staring, hoping somehow Richie would hear the screaming that was going on in Eddie’s head.

When Richie finally did look at him all he had to offer was a lopsided smile and a small wave as he and Daniel turned towards his car.

“Hey Rich, don’t forget protection.” Bev called after them from beside Eddie. Most of the group laughed as Richie flipped her off without looking back but Eddie stared over at her in complete horror.

There was no way they were going to do it, was there?

Oh god, what if they already had. Richie had mentioned that the two of them had been sort of seeing each other for a bit before he had told everyone about It. It was completely possible that they already had. There was no way Richie would choose to hang out with him if there was somewhere he could go that would involve sex. Richie had the permanent mindset of a 14-year-old boy.

His head snapped over towards Richie’s car when he heard the sound of two car door’s slamming. As the car pulled away Eddie could make out Richie’s laughing silhouette through the back window.

“Eddie?”

He shook his head and focused in on Mike, who had leaned down to get into Eddie’s line of sight. He had been staring after the now gone car and hadn’t noticed no one in the group was talking anymore.

“You okay? You’ve been spacing out all night.” Bev asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. Eddie quickly shrugged her off and took a few steps away from the everyone.

“Fine, I’m going to head home now. See you Monday.” Eddie curtly nodded before turning and speeding away.

“Everyone’s going to Stan’s tomorrow night.” Bill yelled after him. Eddie didn’t turn around, just shot his arm up in acknowledgment.

He was going to have to talk to Bill about this. He couldn’t just start completely avoiding going to anything that Richie brought his boyfriend to without telling anyone about It. And avoiding them was exactly what Eddie planned on doing. Tonight had been awful and Eddie really wasn’t looking forward to a repeat.

On the walk home Eddie tried everything he could to keep his thoughts off of a certain couple. He tried humming, he tried thinking about stuff he had to do for school, he even thought about how mad his mother was going to be at him for not texting her every hour that night.

Nothing worked and every train of thought seemed to lead directly to Richie and what he was currently doing at the moment, and that lead to him starting to think about specifics and imagining things and he had to cut those thoughts off right away because Eddie had a very vivid imagination and the last thing he needed right now was to be vividly imagining exactly what the two could be doing in the back seat of Richie’s car.

Eddie shook his head as he took the steps up to his house. As quietly as he could he opened the door and hurried up to his room. He really didn’t want to deal with his mother at the moment. He held his breath as he crept up the stairs and didn’t let it go until he had his bedroom door closed firmly behind him.

The long sigh he let out after the door was shut was a combination of needing to breathe and an attempt to hold back the sob that threatened to escape his throat.

Why the fuck did he feel like crying right now. He was being so stupid. So what if Richie had picked someone over him. So what if he didn’t sleep over at Eddie’s that night. Eddie angrily rubbed at his now watering eye’s as he crossed his room and stopped in front of his window. He leaned his elbows on the window sill and scanned out into the dark road, looking for any sign of Richie’s shitty beat up car.

He stayed there until the tears in his eye’s started blurring his vision. Having lost basically all hope that Richie would actually show up that night, Eddie reached up and pulled the lock to the window down, locking it for the first Friday since they were twelve.

Too exhausted to actually walk over to his bed, Eddie sunk down along the wall and curled up, falling asleep leaning against the side of his desk, still somewhat hoping that Richie would show up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry


	3. Chapter 3

Eddie woke up the next morning a complete mess. His back and neck protesting as he slowly pulled himself off of the floor, feeling even more unrested then he had the night before. He raised both hands up as he walked across his room, one attempting to massage the soreness out of his neck and the other rubbing harshly into his eyes which stung as he tried to wipe away the dried tears.

He changed out of his clothes from the night before as fast as his body would allow him and pulled on a clean shirt and shorts. Before he threw his jeans into his laundry bin he grabbed his phone from the back pocket and headed out of his room and towards the bathroom across the hall.

He had three texts and two missed calls.

Both calls were from his mother, both a little after he had gotten home the night before.

One of the texts was from Bev. From 12:30.

**Bev:** _Did something happen earlier today?_

Eddie shot her a very dishonest  _no_  as he pulled the bathroom door open and closed behind him. She was probably still sleeping and wouldn’t interrogate him for at least a few more hours.

The next text was from Richie at 2:27.

 **Rich:**   _Can’t make tonight. Tell you about it tomorrow ;-P_

Eddie was glad he was in the bathroom because that instant need to vomit hit him so hard that he actually gaged

“Fucking asshole.” Eddie angrily muttered as he set his phone down on the toilet and leaned over the sink to look at himself in the mirror.

As if feeling miserable wasn’t enough, his look had to match, didn’t it? his hair was sticking out in every direction where his head had been pressed against the side of his desk, he had large dark circles under his eyes from the poor quality for sleep he had had, his eyes were also puffy and red, and there were still dried tears tracking down his face.

What the fuck was going on with him, he thought as he grabbed the handle of the sink and turned it as hot as it would go and started splashing water onto his face, hoping to be able to walk downstairs without giving his mom a heart attack. Which at the moment, he 100% would.

He pulled a towel from the towel rack and rubbed it into his face as he grabbed his phone and sat on the closed toilet. The last message was from Bill and it was from about an hour ago.

**Big Bill:** _Everyone’s going at Stan’s at 11._

Eddie pressed the towel harder against his face and groaned into it. Everyone meant Richie and if Richie’s text had any weight to it, Richie meant details to what he had been doing while Eddie had been a home crying.

He looked down at his phone for a few minutes before deciding and quickly texting Bill that he couldn’t go and then some excuse about his mother wanting to spend time with him. He pushed himself up and stopped to look in the mirror once more before leaving.

He still looked extremely tired and his eyes were still red, but due to the hot water and harsh rubbing of the towel, so was most of his face.

It would have to do. He sighed and turned to leave the bathroom, stopping in his room to plug his phone. He didn’t really want it on him, knowing that he would be getting some questioning texts for multiple people sometime in the near future.

After dropping off his phone Eddie headed downstairs and prepared for the day he was about to spend with his mother.

~~~

Eddie successfully avoided almost all of the loser for the remainder of the weekend, answering any texts sent his way with vague responses or steering the conversation away from himself. the only person he couldn’t completely avoid was Mike, who he had to get together with on Sunday to work on a school project.

When Mike showed up at his house, Eddie was expecting the questioning to start as soon as he was through the door, but surprisingly all Mike had to talk about was the project. It was starting to really weird Eddie out when after around two hours of being there Mike had yet to bring up Eddie’s disappearing act.

When the third hour rolled around, Eddie couldn’t take it anymore.

“So How was Saturday.” Eddie asked quietly, breaking Mike from the concentrative state he was currently in.  

“Hmm?” Mike asked as he spun the desk chair he was sitting in to face Eddie on the bed.

“How um, how was Saturday at Stan’s?” Eddie asked again, flipping through one of the books he had open in front of him to try and look somewhat uninterested.

“Oh, Fine. Bill brought over Mario Kart and we had a tournament.” Mike shrugged and turned back around. Eddie bit his lip as he closed the book he was flipping through and moved another in front of him. He started to pick at the corner of it as he spoke again.

“Did, um, anyone ask why I wasn’t there?” He mumbled out, focusing harder on the corner of the book. He heard the wheels on the computer chair squeak as Mike spun around again to face him. Eddie glanced up quickly to see the amused look on Mikes’ face.

“Bill said you were doing something with your mom. Why? did you want someone to ask why you weren’t there?” Without Even looking up Eddie could feel the smirk on Mike’s face. He could also feel his face start to heat up with embarrassment.  

“N-No, I was just…”

“Because I distinctly remember Richie getting pretty whiney about you not being there.” Mike cut him off before he could think of some kind of lie. Eddie’s head shot up, the blush on his cheeks deepening. The smile on Mikes’ face had been replaced with a serious thoughtful look, like he was actually trying to remember details.

“He did?” Eddie squeaked out, perking up on the bed slightly.

“Oh Yeah. Bill had to convince him not to come over here and get you.” Mike continued, the earnest look sticking to his face for another five seconds before it melted away to reveal the smile he had been hiding. That smile turned into full out laughter.

“Sorry Eds, you just looked so serious, I couldn’t help it.” He said as he laughed. Eddie crossed his arms and glared at him.

“Haha, you don’t have to be a dick and lie to me.” Eddie pulled the book in front of him open again and started flipping through the pages.

“I might have been teasing you but I wasn’t lying. Richie was actually upset you weren’t there.” Mike had stopped laughing and had scooted his chair closer to the bed. “I mean, we all wanted you there but he seemed particularly bugged about it.”

Eddie opened his mouth to speak but couldn’t find exactly what he wanted to say. He watched as Mike stood from his seat and sat back down beside Eddie on the bed.

“You know; you don’t have to say anything now if you’re not ready but I’m always here for you if you need someone to talk to about anything.” Mike had completely replaced any trace of teasing with the sincerest look anyone had ever given Eddie. Eddie nodded, dropping to look down at the book again.

“Not yet.” He said softly. He could feel the way to familiar prick of tears forming in his eyes. He definitely had some stuff he needed to think over and as much as he loved Mike for being there for him, he needed to do that alone.

From his peripherals, Eddie saw Mike nodding. He felt an arm go around him and then Mike was pulling him into his side, his hand rubbing Eddie’s shoulder in comfort.

“Okay. So did you find anything in there about the frontal lode.” Mike broke the silence after a few minutes, leaning over the book Eddie had been pretending to read for the better part of an hour. Eddie smiled up at him sheepishly.

~~~

Mike stayed for another hour, the two focusing on the project. When he left Mike hugged him tightly, offering to pick him up for school the next morning if he wanted. Eddie declined. Richie always drove him to school, and he couldn’t really avoid him forever.

As soon as Mike had left, Eddie retreated back up to his room. once he was there he dropped down on his bed and spread his arms out.

Okay, so Richie.

How did he feel when he thought about Richie?

Richie was his idiot best friend. He never knew when to shut up and could make Eddie laugh even on his worst days. Richie was one of the dumbest smart people Eddie had ever meet. He probably could’ve graduated a year early if he wasn’t such a lazy goof-off. But Eddie had thought all those things since they were twelve.

When had things changed? When had Eddie started to get giddy whenever Richie was involved. Because if he was being honest with himself, that was exactly the word he would use to describe the feeling he got when Mike had said Richie wanted to come get him.

Maybe he should be thinking about this in a broader sense.

When did he start to like boys? Eddie sat up at his own thought.

Did he like boys? He tried to remember if he had ever really had a crush on anyone in general and he was drawing blanks. He had always been to busy with school or his friends or medical stuff to really have time for liking people.

Reaching over to his nightstand, he grabbed his phone and checked the time. 9:38. As he was deciding if that was too early to go to bed or not he got distracted by his background.

It was a candid shot that Bev had taken of Richie and Eddie laughing. He didn’t remember where they were or what they had been laughing at but Eddie’s eyes were drawn instantly to Richie and how happy the two were together.

“Damn it.” Eddie sighed as he put the phone back down and moved from his bed to start getting ready for bed.

After his extensive night time routine, Eddie returned to his bedroom and hit the lights before crawling into his bed. He reached for his nightstand and brought his phone closer to his face and unlocked it. The memory calming him down and sending him to sleep with his head filled with thoughts of Richie.

_A soft gust of air ran over his face, pulling Eddie awake. He sleepily blinked his eye’s open to stare at the ceiling of his room. his head lolled sideways to look towards the door. Everything was right, this was his room but there was a faint haziness that crept around the edges of his vision._

_He felt hot air hitting the back of his neck and turned his head back towards the wall. He didn’t know how he hadn’t felt the weight of someone laying beside him but sure enough, there was. They were facing away from him but Eddie had slept next to this specific figure so often that there was no doubt in his mind that it was Richie._

_Disorientated, confused, and still pretty sleepy, Eddie reached his hand out to shake Richie’s shoulder. His fingers buzzed as they gripped into the fabric of Richie’s tee-shirt._

_“Rich?” Eddie asked, his voice sounding far away._

_Richie yawned and rolled over to face Eddie._

_If any of the other weirdness didn’t flash red lights at Eddie that this was a dream, seeing Richie’s face definitely did it. He wasn’t normally that pretty was he? Richie’s messy dark hair draped around his face, contrasting his pale skin in a way that made him look like a doll. Eddie stared up at him in awe as Richie smiled._

_“What’s_ _up” Richie’s voice sounded even further away than his own. “Can’t sleep?”_

_Richie brought his hand up and placed it on top of the one Eddie had used to grab his shoulder. He felt the other being placed on his lower back. He was too entranced to look away from Richie’s face or to protest when he felt Richie start to pull him closer._

_He finally found his voice when their foreheads touched lightly._

_“Rich?” He asked again, much softer this time. The forward momentum stopped and Richie just held him in his arms._

_“Don’t you want this?”_

_There was no use lying to himself. He wanted this. so bad that it actually kind of hurt him. Eddie could feel Richie’s breath against his face. It drew him closer and Eddie was the one to join their lips together._

_Eddie had thought that kissing Richie would be weird and he would wake up from the bizarre dream convinced that he had just been crazy the last couple of days and all his feelings towards his best friend were completely platonic._

_He had been absolutely wrong._

_It was like everything was on sensory overload. The spot on his back that Richie’s hand covered was burning. It seemed that everywhere Richie was touching him was on fire. Whatever slight hesitance that resided in Eddie melted away when Richie raised his other hand to hold Eddie’s neck and pull him impossibly closer._

_Eddie let out a small noise as Richie moved his hand to his waist and pushed so Eddie was lying on his back. He looked up at him confused for a second before Richie was moving to lean over him, heatedly pushing their mouths back together._

_The hand that had been on his face was now being used to hold Richie up as he hovered over Eddie. The other had somehow found itself under Eddie’s tee-shirt. Richie tailed his hand along Eddie’s body, lightly dragging his fingertips and leaving a path of pure heat as Eddie clung to Richie’s shoulders._

_The hot feeling grew too much and Eddie had to drop his head back onto the bed, heavy breaths forcing their way through his body. Richie had moved his head lower, pressing soft kisses to the exposed skin of Eddie’s neck and collarbone. Eddie’s eye’s slipped closed as Richie lightly nipped at a sensitive spot near his ear._

_Richie’s hand had also moved lower. It was now resting on the dip of Eddie’s hipbone, rubbing small circles over his to hot skin._

_Right as Richie’s hand started moving even lower the burning sensation disappeared along with the slight weight that Richie had been putting on him. His neck felt cold as a chilly gust of air ran over his whole body._

_He slowly opened his eye’s as a sharp feeling of vertigo hit him. He quickly realized he wasn’t lying in his bed anymore. He wasn’t even in his room anymore. It took him a few seconds to figure out where he was._

_It had been a while since he had climbed into his room from the tree that grew just outside his window but he definitely recognized the exterior of his house as he grabbed onto the branch under him to make sure he didn’t fall._

_He was about halfway across the branch. He wasn’t sure why but he felt a force pulling him forward. Pulling him to look into his room._

_Placing his hand in front of him, he slowly moved along the branch. He stopped at about the point where he should be reaching his legs towards the windowsill. But as he looked through the window into his room, the want to actually go into the room vanished._

_His room was just how it had been when he had been in it. It was like an out of body experience. In the corner of the room was his bed. And on that was what looked like Richie and him, exactly how they had been before Eddie had ended up in the tree._

_Richie was leaning over the other him, kissing along his face and neck. Eddie couldn’t really see anything other than Richie’s back but the feeling of Richie’s hands on him was still so vivid what he could still practically feel them._

_When Richie’s head started moving lower, Eddie realized the awful truth about what he was witnessing. This wasn’t some weird out of body thing, and that wasn’t him at all. He was now just an outsider looking in._

_Eddie’s nails dug into the wood of the branch as he watched Richie make his way down Daniel’s chest. His arms wrapped around the back of Richie’s neck and pulled him down harder on top of him._

_Eddie curled his hand into a fist and raised it. right as he was about to slam it against the glass of his window, Daniel’s eye’s sprung open and his head turned to stare straight at Eddie._

_His hand dropped from Richie’s shoulder and wave towards Eddie as a grin spread across his face. The hand that was waving moved to Richie’s neck. Without breaking eye contact with Eddie, Daniel dragged Richie up and pulled him down into a filthy kiss._

_Eddie yelled as he brought his fist down to smash into the window, the sting of glass in his hand feeling so real._

Eddie shot up in bed to the sound of the alarm on his phone going off. His was panting and sweaty and he shook his head as he gripped onto the front of his shirt to try to slow his fast beating heart down.

What the Fuck had that dream been.

Eddie threw his blanket aside, trying to find his still ringing phone to shut it off. When he did find it he quickly opened up his messenger app, spending as little time as possible on his home screen and typed out a message to Mike before jumping out of Bed and hurrying towards the shower.


	4. Chapter 4

Eddie ran out of his house as soon as he saw Mike’s truck pull up. His shower that morning had been extra long, even for him. He had scrubbed at the places dream Richie had touched him, trying to get the feeling to go away.

It hadn’t.

It was like he could still feel the handprints and they were burning under his shirt as he slid into the front seat beside Mike.

As soon as he had the car door shut he pulled his phone out and held it out to Mike.

“Please text him and tell him not to come get me.” He said hurriedly, folding his hands in his lap nervously when Mike took the phone. Mike stared at him for a second before looking down and unlocking the phone.

“So your alone thinking time went well then?” He asked as he typed. Eddie bit his lip and turned and stared through his window at a spot on the sidewalk. Mike tossed the phone into his lap, glancing over at Eddie before stepping on the gas and heading off towards school.

~~~

As easy as it was for Eddie to avoid Richie during the weekend, school was an entirely different thing.

He knew he was going to have to talk to him eventually but the morning after he had had a dream where they were making out in his bed didn’t really seem like the best time to do it.

Eddie made his way to his locker using Mike as a human shield. When they had to separate, Eddie basically ran to his first class. Once he got there he could just focus on Math and nothing else. And If he was sneaky enough he could make it to his last class without having to deal with this whole situation.

It was the last class that he couldn’t really avoid him. The two sat next to each other at the back of the class. His only hope was sometimes Richie would skip last period with Bev and for the first time ever, Eddie was hoping Richie would be a bad student and not come to class.

~~~

But luck wasn’t really with him and of course, as he walked into his English room, Richie was there. He actually seemed to perk up in his seat when the two met eyes.

Eddie took a deep breath before walking across the room.

“Hey Eds, missed you this weekend.” Richie called when he was about halfway there. Eddie watched as a few people turned to stare at them. He turned his head down and picked up his pace.

“Yeah.” He muttered as he took his seat, still keeping his head down. He could feel the eye’s of his other classmates turning from him, but Richie’s were burning into the side of his face.

“You missed a fun time- You feelin’ okay?” Richie asked, cutting himself off when he noticed Eddie still staring intensely at his desk.

“Yeah.” Eddie muttered. He knew that if he turned to look at the older boy he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from remembering the way dream Richie had looked at him and how close they had been. So Eddie’s solution was to just try to avoid eye contact for the rest of the day, and once he was safely home, he could bury himself in blankets and figure out how he was going to look his best friend in the face without feeling guilty about basically having a sex dream about him.

Richie was silent beside him for about a half a second, and then he was tilting his head and trying to move it in front of Eddie’s vision.

Eddie, not wanting to draw any attention to the situation, unwillingly moved his eye’s to Richie’s face, still avoiding meeting eyes and instead focusing on Richie’s lips.

Which turned out to be a really stupid idea.

Once Richie had gotten Eddie to actually look at him, a smile spread across his face, and Eddie couldn’t help but forget about what he was worrying about and smile along with him.

Richie moved so he was sitting normally, his face pulling away from Eddie’s and Eddie found his eye’s automatically following and despite his early protests traveling up Richie’s face to his eyes.

Richie held his smile but Eddie’s dropped as the two stared at each other for what seemed like hours to Eddie.

Eventually Richie broke the silence.

“What happened this morning?” He asked. The question broke whatever spell that had come over Eddie and he turned back to look at his desk.

“Mike gave me a ride.” Eddie said quietly. He hated lying to Richie so he tried to keep the statement technically true without going into any detail as to why. Richie let out a sarcastic sounding laugh.

“Yeah, I know. You told me that this morning. I mean what’s been going on with you recently. You’re-“ As Richie spoke he absentmindedly placed his hand on Eddie’s back, right where dream Richie had.

Eddie pushed himself away from his desk, and consequently Richie. He stared hard at the floor as he felt his breathing pick up and his face heating.

A quick glance up showing that a majority of the class had turned to look back at the sound of Eddie’s chair scraping across the floor. Richie was holding his hand up as if he had just scared a small animal and he didn’t want to do it again.

Eddie could feel his throat tighten up as he felt more than a dozen eye’s burning into him with shocked and confused looks.

It was about a minute until the tension in the room was broken by the sound of the door opening and the teacher walking in. Most of the students turned to face the front of the room, a few hesitatingly.

Without the heavy weight of everyone staring at him, Eddie’s breathing slowly went back too normal as he quietly moved his chair back up to his desk. Richie still hadn’t turned to face the front, but Eddie was absolutely determined not to look at him again.

The rest of the class passed by like that. Eddie stubbornly keeping his head facing forward and Richie barely looking forward at all.

Eddie had packed up his stuff five minutes early and as soon as the bell rang he jumped up and ran from the room, pulling his phone out as he went. Richie had tried to catch up to him, but Eddie could be really fast if he wanted to be and he definitely wanted to be at that moment, plus he was small and could easily slide in-between and around people in the hallways.

Once he was outside and completely sure that Richie hadn’t followed him, he called Mike and asked if he could give him a ride home. After a very quiet drive home, Eddie snuck his way into his room and refused to leave for the rest of the night.

He was going to have to figure out a way to be near Richie without having a panic attack and he was pretty sure that was going to take some time. But there was no way he was going to give up his best friend just because he had some stupid feelings for him.

He woke up the next morning from an extremely unrestful sleep. He walked downstairs without stopping in the bathroom to look at himself and as soon as his mother saw him at breakfast she made him go back up to bed.

As Eddie walked back to the stairs he stopped and look in the mirror in the hallway.

He hair was sticking up everywhere from tossing and turning the night before and he had large bags under his eyes from his attempt to fight off actually sleeping in case he had any other dreams like the one from Sunday night.

He heard his mother talking to someone on the phone and assumed it was the school. As much as he hated missing school, maybe this was for the best. He could take some time to get himself back to his usual self, if he could.

He slept for most of the day and thankfully didn’t have any notable dreams.

Unwilling to miss another day of school, Eddie convinced his mother that he was fine the next day, and as nervous as he was about seeing Richie again, he knew it was going to have to happen. 

Only it didn’t.

Eddie had decided to walk to school that day, and even though he wasn’t actively avoiding him, Eddie didn’t see Richie throughout the whole day.

When English rolled around and Eddie got to the classroom to find the desk next to his empty he felt both relief and disappointment. He barely focused on what the teacher was saying during the class.

That night Eddie decided that no matter what he was going to force himself to act normal around Richie the next time he saw him. Richie had been such a constant presence in his life that even though it was only two days, not talking to him for this long really wasn’t sitting well with him.

Eddie walked to school the next day again but instead of heading right to class he stood near the back entrance of the school and waited for Richie’s shitty car to pull into the student parking lot.

Five minutes later Eddie saw the familiar car turning off the main road. He held his breath as Richie climbed out of the car. Unable to stop the smile from creeping onto his face, Eddie let it happen as he went to raise his hand to wave across the lot.

His hand froze midway up when he noticed the passenger door being pushed open.

Of fucking course, Daniel had to be there. Eddie started to lower his hand and was going to just forget this whole thing when he looked back to Richie and saw that the other boy had noticed him already.

It was too late to play it off as anything else so Eddie moved his hand in an awkward wave and was going to turn to leave but was again stopped when he saw Richie saying something over the car and then breaking out into a run across the parking lot.

Eddie watched him, he had a huge smile on his face as he ran. Eddie let out a little laugh at how stupid he looked. When he rolled his eye’s they landed on Daniel, who was still standing by Richie’s car.

He was also staring at Richie, but his look was full of confusion. That look ebbed away when he followed where Richie was going to meet eyes with Eddie.

Eddie tried to offer his most sincere smile but the look he got in return was dark and annoyed.

Their staring contest was broken when Richie came slamming into him. He pulled Eddie closer with one hand and messed his hair up with the other.

Eddie loudly protested, but couldn’t hold back laughing along with Richie. When Eddie finally got Richie to calm down, Richie kept his arm around his neck and the two headed towards Eddie’s locker.

Eddie glanced over his shoulder back at Richie’s car but the parking lot had cleared out and Daniel wasn’t standing beside Richie’s car anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

For the rest of that day, it was like Richie was trying to make up for the time that they had spent apart. After each of Eddie’s classes he would be waiting outside in the hallway. Eddie tried to keep touching to a minimum because the slightest brush of skin would remind him of the dream and send him into a mini guilt filled panic attack.

Richie seemed to pick up on that pretty quickly and gave Eddie his space, which was pretty impressive knowing Richie and how touchy he was.

To Eddie’s complete surprise Richie didn’t ask him again about what had happened the previous week. He just seemed to be content with things being back to how they were. And Eddie was too.

Friday was the same. Eddie still insisted on walking to and from school. It was going to take some time to get used to being normal around Richie and it was going to take even more time to get used to being around Richie and Daniel together. The thought of them still kinda made him sick.

“So I told Dan that I would go to his place for a bit tonight but can I come over after that?” Richie asked as he held the classroom door open for Eddie.

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Eddie shrugged nonchalantly. Richie didn’t need to know how much him not coming over the week before had affected him. He pushed open the door to the parking lot and stepped outside.

From across the lot, Eddie could see Daniel waiting beside Richie’s car. Richie seemed to have seen him too because the two stopped outside of the door and stared towards Richie’s car for a few seconds.

“Okay, I’ll see you later.” Eddie said as he started to walk towards his house. He got three steps away when Richie’s hand struck out and grabbed his arm. Eddie spun around confused and looked up at Richie. He looked like he was struggling to find what words to say. Which was a look on Richie that Eddie rarely ever saw.

Eddie turned his head to look over at Richie’s car and noticed Daniel was now staring intensely back at them. Eddie looked back at Richie and nodded his head to the side.

“He’s waiting. I’ll see you later.” Eddie repeated, lightly pulling his arm from Richie’s grasp. He headed home without looking back.

Once Eddie got home he sat in the living room with his mom for a bit. on nights where he planned on sneaking Richie in, he tried to at least spend a little bit of time with his mom, that way she wouldn’t question he too much on why he was locking himself up in his room all night.

After the two eat dinner and Eddie had deemed he had spent enough time that night to placate his mother he headed up to his room to work on some homework before Richie got there.

He was about halfway done when his mom called for him to come downstairs. She was standing at the bottom of the stairs, a slightly annoyed look on her face.

“There’s someone at the door.” She said as she walked into the kitchen. He could hear her voice and assumed that she was on the phone with one of her friends. The front door was open just a crack and whoever had knocked hadn’t made any effort to come in, so it most likely wasn’t anyone from the Losers club.

Eddie pulled the door open and peeked around it to look outside.

Daniel was standing on his porch. He had a dark hoodie pulled over his head and didn’t look all too happy.

“Oh, hey um what’s up.” Eddie stepped out from behind the door and stood in the threshold. Daniel looked at him, his head shaking and the unhappy look turned to one of anger.

“It’s all your fault.” He said so quietly that Eddie barely heard him. Eddie went to take another step outside, his hand raised in an attempted way of comfort.

His actions all stopped when he felt a sharp pain spread across his cheek. He looked down at the ground in complete disbelieve. He could see Daniels hand from the corner of his eye. It was shaky and the knuckle looked like it had been split. Eddie was pretty sure he had never been legitimately slapped before.  

He brought the hand that he had been lifting up to his face and touched his cheek lightly. It stung where his fingers touched. He looked up from the ground confused. Daniel shot him a dirty look before raising his hand again. Eddie saw it this time and quickly jumped back into the house, pushing the door shut and locking it.

There was a loud bang from the other side of the door and Eddie could hear Daniel yelling something that he couldn’t make out. Eddie stayed pressed against the door until he couldn’t hear anything coming from the other side. He looked through the peephole and couldn’t see anything either.

Still in complete shock from what had happened, Eddie touched his hand to his face again, wincing at the pain. He held his cheek as he walked back to the stairs. His mom called something from the kitchen which Eddie distantly answered.

He slumped down on his bed staring hard at the wall.

What the fuck was that.

Eddie was pretty sure he had said about five sentences to the guy and he was pretty sure none of those warranted that. He didn’t really move too much for the next half an hour or so.

It wasn’t until a light knock came from his window that he snapped out of the dazed state he was in. Eddie jumped off his bed and hurried over to the window. He had forgotten to unlock it from last week and Richie falling and breaking something was not the ending he wanted for this already bizarre night.

He unhitched the lock and Richie quickly dipped into the room.

“You’re never going to believe what just happened.” Eddie said as he pulled the window shut. Without stopping to look at Richie, he crossed his room too close and lock his door.

“Yeah?” Richie responded. His voice sounding flatter than usual. Eddie turned to face him.

He had moved to sit on the bed. His glasses were thrown on the bed beside him and he was rubbing at his temple with his fingers. His hand almost covered it but Eddie could see that the top of his cheek was red with what looked like blood.

“Richie! what the fuck.” Eddie quickly crossed back across the room, stopping in front of the bed. Before he could say anything else or look any closer, Richie had stood from the bed and was holding Eddie’s neck with both hands, pushing his head to the side so he could see Eddie’s cheek.

“What happened?” Richie asked urgently. He was leaning in closer and squinting more than usual without his glasses.  

“What happened to me! What happened to you!?” Eddie pulled his head back out of Richie’s hands and walked out of the room. He headed for the bathroom and grabbed the emergency kit that was under the sink. He looked in the mirror as he stood and saw what Richie was talking about, his cheek was still bright red and the outline of a hand could faintly be seen.

Without thinking any more about it, Eddie turned and went back to his room. Richie’s face was way worse and need more immediate attention then his did.

Richie had sat back down on the bed and was fiddling with one of the arms of his glasses. Eddie could see that they were crooked. He stopped at his desk and grabbed the glasses repairing kit he kept there for the many times Richie had broken them.

He sat down on the bed beside Richie and put everything he had grabbed beside him.

“So who did it?” Eddie asked as he pulled out a disinfected wipe and started dabbing it on Richie’s cheek. He used his other hand to push Richie’s hair out of the way.

“…Daniel.” Richie answered quietly, grimacing at the sting on his face. Eddie pulled his hand away and moved his face in front of Richie’s.

“What!” Eddie almost yelled before remembering that his mom was still downstairs. Richie shrugged and looked down at the floor.

“I don’t know, I think I kinda deserved it.” He mumbled still looking down.

Eddie used his hand to move Richie’s head back up and continued patting his cheek, this time slightly angry.

“I don’t care how annoying you can be, your boyfriend shouldn’t hit you.”

“Ex.” Richie corrected. Eddie’s hand stopped moving and he stared at the side of Richie’s face.

“What.” Eddie whispered. He blinked a couple of times before Richie spoke again.

“Me and Daniel. We broke up.” Richie looked over at Eddie through the corner of his eye. Eddie shook his head and grabbed Richie’s glasses from his hands. He took out the repair kit and started working on fixing the arm. He could tell Richie was still looking at him when he spoke again.

“What happened?” Eddie asked, still not looking up from Richie’s glasses.

“He gave me a choice and didn’t like the one I made.”

Eddie could feel his heartbeat starting to pick up. The quiet, soft voice Richie was using was so much like the one that dream Richie had used to talk to him that it was kind of making him dizzy.

“What was it?” Eddie asked, not really wanting to know but really just wanting to hear Richie’s voice again. Richie didn’t answer for a few minutes, and when he did the thumping in Eddie’s ear almost drowned it out.

“You.”

Richie had been so quiet that Eddie was pretty sure that even if his heart wasn’t currently trying to burst out of his chest he would have had trouble hearing him.

“What?” Eddie’s hand’s had stopped moving but he still couldn’t bring himself to look over at Richie.

”He told me to choose between him and you, and I told him I didn’t think I would pick anyone over you.”

Eddies head snap to the side. A small fear that Richie was pulling some cruel kind of joke crept into Eddie’s mind but as soon as he saw the look of complete sincerity and trust on Richie’s face he felt his face heat up.

Richie flashed him a soft smile and it was that smile that pulled Eddie closer to Richie.

Everything about the situation was intoxicating to Eddie. The heat coming off of Richie, the sound of his voice, the words he had just spoken, Eddie felt drunk on it all. Without even meaning to, Eddie leaned across the small gap between them and lightly pressed his lips against Richie’s.

Thoughts of the dream were blown from Eddie’s mind as the feeling of Richie’s lips on his took over everything.

He felt Richie’s hand touch his arm and that was what knocked him back into reality. He pulled away from Richie and look up at him, completely terrified.

He’d just kissed Richie, his best friend, out of nowhere. What if that wasn’t what Richie wanted.

It was Richie’s hand that again broke him out of his own little world. Richie had moved his hand up Eddie’s arm to his neck. He was looking down at him almost nervously. Richie pulled Eddie a little closer, stopping and waiting for some kind of sign that Eddie was still okay with this.

The look that Eddie was giving him must have been enough because Eddie was being pulled into another kiss. This time he could feel Richie eagerly returning it.

Eddie seemed to lose track of time, but when they broke apart they both took a huge breath of air, so Eddie assumed it had been a while.

Richie leaned his forehead against Eddie’s, his hand still cupping Eddie’s cheek.

Eddie closed his eyes and leaned his cheek into Richie’s hand, pressing a kiss to the palm of it. Richie was the one to break the silence between them.

“It was always you.”


End file.
